There was a woman living in a beautiful home in the countryside. The house had a porch, big sunny windows, and the front door had an opening to a garden full of flowers.
One day, the woman was found outside her yard by her Gardner. She was intently searching the ground near a lamppost, so he asked her about the goal of her quest.
“I’m looking for the keys of my house“, she replied worried and anxious.
The Gardner helped her to look for the keys for a few minutes, but without success. Then he asked her whether she is certain that she dropped the keys near the lamppost.
“No“, she replied. I lost the keys somewhere inside the house.
“My lady, you lost the keys inside the house? asked the Gardner surprised and irritated. “Why do look for them out here?”
“The house is too dark, the electricity just went off and I can’t see very well. I came out to the lamppost because the light is much better here.”
The story did not stop there. There was another thing the Gardner said and did. But I’ll tell you at the end of this article.
Like for the woman in the story, the light is better for me when I travel. When I am outside my house and I only see the happy side of life.
But this summer, I decided I want to stay home and look for the keys inside the house. Even if it’s dark.
I knew I took the best decision when a good friend of mine asked me:
“Don’t you regret you did not go to the USA again?”
“HELL NO!” I knew from the bottom of my heart that my place is home this summer.
Though it was so tempting to go back…
Just look at it. I was living next to one of the most beautiful lakes in the World.
It felt so dreamy, all was good…
Somehow, I never wanted to come back home from there. I never wanted my summers to end. But then I asked myself? Why don’t I want my summers to end? Isn’t it an end, a new beginning?
Because of fear. Fear of coming home, jumping into the real world and getting to know my real soul. So last summer, I stayed home and discovered that on the other side of fear is love. And much more…Here’s what I learned after my first summer home, after 5 years of traveling.
1. When something goes wrong, I learned to look inside, not outside.
Like the woman in the story, we tend to solve our problems from the outside. We blame the others, try to change them or even run away from them. It’s like when you squeeze an orange. What comes out when you squeeze an orange? It’s orange juice! Well, it is the same when someone else squeezes you. If what comes out is anger and aggressiveness, that’s because of you! Not because of the person who squeezes you.
2. When you are in a state of awareness and connection, wherever you go, flowers will bloom.
During our trip in the mountains, we met people who gave us food for free and most of all, we got the best sleeping place in the cabin, after we were told it was full. The World seemed to take care for us, because we were taking care of each other and everything was in pure sync.
3. The AS doesn’t ever win alone.
It needs the other cards at the table. The weaker ones. Sometimes, you’ll find persons in your life that will be the expression of your weakness. They will come to you as a lesson, to teach you that you need to accept your weaknesses, love yourself for who you are and accept the others for who they are. Last week, I attended a conference and one of the speeches was held by a blind woman. She found her love on a dating site for people with disabilities. Her other half had a locomotory handicap. But she said: “He is my eyes, I am his strength.” I just found it incredible, how life will always bring to you what you most need and it will never give you more than you cannot handle.
4. I need to be my number one fan.
With all the friends and support in the world, it’s only YOU that can pick yourself up. I learned that I need to see further than I am in this moment. Go deep inside me, and believe I am going to get where I want to be in the future. Accept what I cannot do at this very moment, be patient with myself and believe in my invisible.
5. I learned to let my words bleed more soul on the paper.
That equals more vulnerability and sensibility. I must admit, the feedback was excellent.
6. Rather than making a list with what I want, make a list of what I can offer.
Making a list with what you want can bring you a lot of trouble. It will set expectations, you’ll live in the future rather than in the present and this will bring a lot of pressure to the table. So what we can do instead is have the courage to accept our flaws & fears and make an honest list with what we have to offer. Accepting who we are and not being afraid is one of the best things we can reward ourselves with. And of course, by working on ourselves, we become more and we attract even more. :)
7. You’ll always experience a destination through the eyes of the person you’re with.
It’s not the message which is important, but the person who transmits it. It’s not about the place, but the person you’re visiting it with. Choose that person’s wisely. It can change your whole experience.
8. Choices you make today, may not be the choices you make tomorrow.
This is because perhaps you suffer from the “Impostor Syndrome”, who constantly tells you “You are not good enough, you don’t belong here, you will fail and you need to give up, you don’t know who you are, you don’t deserve this”. Those voices come to you when everything seems too good to be true. So you choose something today, and tomorrow you choose something different. The problem is that you either make choices out of fear or out of love.
9. I learned that when people are tired, you need to let them rest.
Even if this means letting them go. If they feel like talking to you again after their rest, showing your enthusiasm is the best gift you can offer. Love people in their hardest time. Love people when they leave. This is pretty difficult, but one of the most important lessons. That’s why it’s important not to find the perfect person to love, but to find that person whose imperfections you can love, even in difficult situations.
10. Accept uncertainty. This comes packed with pain and tears.
This is perhaps the lesson that I needed to learn the most. What is here today, might be gone tomorrow. The funny thing is that what you’re most afraid to lose, that’s what you’ll lose. And usually, you’ll get only the lessons you need to. If somehow you need lessons about your physical possessions, your possessions will be gone the next day. The key is to have faith. Worry is like taking the elevator only one direction. Down. We need to let go of fear and worry. And the best antidote for worry is faith. Faith that everything will fall into place in its rhythm.
Now…after writing these thoughts here, I realized I was always afraid to face the other seasons. I was living only for the summer. For the good side of life. For those three months of happiness, thrills and falling in love. I never wanted to stay at home and face what it will have to offer.
Autumn has a special smell in the air. I associate it with the feeling of coming home. Coming back to my beautiful countryside home with the garden. It wakes you up from your summer dream. But reality can be amazing!
Nature seems to die, but in fact, it transforms. It can be even more overwhelming.
I was afraid of “summer endings.”
But not anymore.
I am now accepting all the seasons.
So what if it ends? It doesn’t matter the events we live, but the way we interpret them and what we learn from them. Summer can turn into a beautiful autumn. With both good and bad, warm and cold. It’s the way it goes. It’s the dynamic of nature and life.
All we have to do is slip into the gap, have the desire, release the attachment to the outcome and let the Universe handle the details…
Dear October… Welcome!
P.S 1. Curious to see what the Gardner said? He said many things, but most of all, he went inside the house and looked for the keys together with the woman. “I’ll be your eyes, you’ll be my strength.”
P.S. 2. I now realize that the most beautiful lake I’ve ever seen is home, right next to me. And always been there.